Of Marriage and Grace

Diane and I will celebrate our 37th wedding anniversary tomorrow. Thirty. Seven.  Years. That’s a lot of marriage. That’s a lot of grace. 

I remember once hearing a wise person say that anyone who has been married more than a week has grounds for divorce and that the key to a lasting relationship is to find, and keep finding, grounds for marriage. 

Grounds for marriage? That would include love, friendship, intimacy, commitment, forgiveness, encouragement, faithfulness, adventure, companionship, and several other grace-filled words. No wonder the Apostle Paul often uses the analogy of marriage to describe the relationship Jesus wants to have with us (his Church).

Sometime ago Diane dragged me off to see a chick flick (not a rare occurrence over the years).  I don’t remember the exact title of the movie, but I do remember some memorable lines.  A wife is talking to a private detective whom she had hired to investigate her husband, whom she suspected of having an affair. The detective assures her that is not the case, and their conversation then turns to the nature of marriage. These were the poignant lines: “We need a witness to our lives. Someone who will say, ‘Your life will not go unnoticed. Your life will not go unwitnessed, because I will witness it.’”  Truly a beautiful thought.

I suppose it is possible for marriage to be a lonely existence, but how much richer and more fulfilling when life is a journey made together.  Life with Diane is an adventure of grace upon grace. At the young age in which we wed, I was not smart enough to realize how good a decision I was making. Grace.

The blessing of having a partner, not only in life but in ministry, cannot be underestimated.  I often tell people that 95% of my good ideas come from Diane. While she does not have a seminary degree, Diane has earned the equivalent in ministry experience.  If the ministry offered something akin to the military’s “battlefield promotions,” most ministry spouses would be high-ranking officers.  Grace. 

Twelve years ago, my parents, Diane and I, and my brothers and sister and their spouses went on a cruise together to celebrate my Mom and Dad’s 50th anniversary.  We sat around the dinner table each evening recounting warm memories, telling embarrassing stories, and just enjoying being together. One evening we added up the years of marriage around the table: 50 for mom and dad, 25 for Diane and me, 20 for Scott and Kim, 18 for Steve and Michelle, 10 for Kim and Robert…123 years of marriage sitting around one table.  When we get together this year, it will be 183 years of marriage around the table.    

That’s a lot of marriage.  That’s a lot of grace.