In Honor of the Spouse of a Pastor (and DS)

When Diane was eighteen years old, she was elected to the church board. The same year, she was elected Homecoming Queen and was (with her twin sister) an award-winning Field Commander of a marching band that won multiple championships. I proposed to her that year. We were married a year later. We were just kids.

I don’t know if it was her beauty or her intellect that most attracted me to her. I often tell people that 95% of my good ideas come from Diane, and that may be an understatement. I really wasn’t smart enough to realize how good a decision I was making. Diane’s wisdom, grace, and winsomeness have blessed not only me, but the churches and districts we have served.

Diane has done it all – played the piano, served in the nursery, taught adult Sunday school classes, hosted groups, led retreats and conferences, spoke at retreats and conferences, cooked fabulous meals for family and friends, sung in the choir, worked in district offices, served as “Chief Problem Solver” for a multi-city company, mentored young women, started ministries, developed leaders, raised children, doted on grandchildren, and served as her husband’s trusted advisor and counselor.

She is the classiest person I know. Her interior design skills are only equaled by her profound ability to make a space as comfortable as it is beautiful. Her relational intelligence is off-the-charts. After a lot of thought, and the encouragement of others, I have decided to allow myself to be nominated to serve as president of the Society of Men Who Married Women Far Better Than Themselves.

In a few days, Diane and I will celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. It doesn’t seem possible. It seems like just a few weeks ago that I was asking her parents for their blessing. In keeping with the nature of our marriage, which can be described as “a wonderful adventure,” we’re taking a couple weeks to explore some places in the world we’ve not yet visited (as well as a few we have).

Joseph Choate, one-time U.S. ambassador to Great Britain, when asked who he would like to be if he could come back to earth again after he died, replied without an instant’s hesitation: “Mrs. Choate’s second husband.” I feel the same way about Diane.

Over the years, I’ve observed that for married ministers, not just success but also survival (neither to be taken for granted in the pastorate) is profoundly influenced by the partnership in life and ministry they have with their spouse.

May the good Lord continue to bless these important partnerships.